Comments on My Spouse Is Dead: Grieving a Sudden Death

Lost my husband on 10/26/09. Feelings of guilt, I...

2009-11-11T21:54:54.734-05:00

Lost my husband on 10/26/09. Feelings of guilt, I just wish I had time to speak to him. I miss him a lot, although these last few years we had a lot of fights. We were married 29 years. You dont realize how much you love someone, until they are gone. Just wish I could have told him...

Anonymous, i lost my young, brother.my mother has ...

2009-07-03T08:30:59.935-04:00

Anonymous,
i lost my young, brother.my mother has same, feelings like you,she feels, she could have saved him from heart attack, we are reeling in shock, i am yet able to grieve openly.i wished he would come back and life was just the same, we are feeling, void in our lives, my mom, was suicidal, but now, she prays her son, calls her soon, ,welcoming, death....

Oh my. I lost my spouse in May 2009. Car accid...

2009-06-24T22:17:08.398-04:00

Oh my.

I lost my spouse in May 2009. Car accident was sudden. One day they are here, the next day, gone! One day full of plans with a future; the next day dumped by the roadway, nowhere to go.

I walk around during the day, feeling that my soul has been shredded in a paper shredder, and only strings are left behind. My days are long, and lonely.

Funny, how a social life can become very lonely. My phone use to ring off the hook, and now I wonder if it even works. Emails come in, but they try to sell me things which I have no desires.

People try to console me, saying “it was their time”, “God needed my spouse more in heaven”, “this too will pass”, and “time heals all wounds”. These words mean nothing to me, nor do they even make sense.

I am upset with God, as this summer was to be special. I am upset with friends, as their relationships have lasted longer than mine. I am upset with family, as they pictured my spouse as they wanted to during the funeral. I am upset with life, as my spouse had life, and now they do not.

Its funny, I still feel numb. It’s funny, I still say goodnight to my spouse. It’s funny, I get moments of confusion. It’s funny, I still feel like my spouse embraces’. It’s funny; I think I am going mad.

I read the stories posted on this site, and I think Oh my, I have to wait that long before these feeling go away. I have to wait how long before I can truly laugh. I am in no mood to see others, to start something new, nor do I feel like going out and seeing people.

I am not suicidal, but let me tell you, I have no will to keep going. Not that I will take my life away, but I would welcome death, if it was there for the taking.

My husband died suddenly on May 20th, I still find...

2009-06-22T19:18:33.307-04:00

My husband died suddenly on May 20th, I still find myself reliving that day over and over, wanting it to be a different result. How can someone be here one minute and gone the next?

I'll print this post to give to my friends and fam...

2008-12-12T09:44:18.642-05:00

I'll print this post to give to my friends and family because it so expresses my feelings. Eleven days ago, my husband dropped dead in the shower from an aneurysm, and I've been beating myself up ever since. I should have been here with him ... perhaps I could have saved him ... I should have kissed him beforehand ... I should have been holding his hand when he died, etc. I hope I can get to a better place some day.

Some good thoughts on grief. I could not agree mo...

2008-07-10T23:00:17.814-04:00

Some good thoughts on grief. I could not agree more. Thanks.

Hi, Vic. First time that I have read your blog, an...

2008-07-09T09:51:09.516-04:00

Hi, Vic. First time that I have read your blog, and how timely! My husband died unexpectedly in mid-May (not suicide - but medical reasons are still not clear). Thanks for your blog, and I will put it in my list of favorites.