tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6215101825292415335.post3341909333205519309..comments2023-07-15T10:07:19.758-04:00Comments on My Spouse Is Dead: Moving Toward GriefVichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12604449367265697562noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6215101825292415335.post-71744708560903016262011-09-01T23:46:11.559-04:002011-09-01T23:46:11.559-04:00Hi Unknown, I'm very sorry for your loss.
I&#...Hi Unknown, I'm very sorry for your loss.<br /><br />I'm reading a book right now by Byron Katie called "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400045371/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wik0c-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399369&creativeASIN=1400045371" rel="nofollow">Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life</a>." Because you are a counsellor yourself, you can likely relate to her style and message.<br /><br />Three years is a long time to grieve, although I certainly get that three kids, one with special needs, complicates things.<br /><br />Is there a local grief peer-support group in your area? I found one close to me, and they were incredibly helpful. I fully believe that they helped me get through my grief journey in one piece. They all understood what I was going through because they were or had been in my shoes themselves. Just a thought.<br /><br />May you find peace,<br /><br />VicVichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12604449367265697562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6215101825292415335.post-91783505467258901552011-08-28T21:46:21.761-04:002011-08-28T21:46:21.761-04:00I lost my husband (we were together twenty years s...I lost my husband (we were together twenty years since we were 18 years old) three years ago to rare, aggressive, and terminal cancer. I am a counsellor, however I continue to walk around most days feeling like someone has punched me in the stomach. Coupled with this is the anger and guilt that I feel about being left behind to raise three small kids (one with autism) with no money in the bank - as he spent recklessly -like there was no tomorrow- and did not have any life insurance to help with bills/funeral costs. I myself have a tone of life insurance, but no life.<br />I am a so called "professional" who feels like a phony most days.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6215101825292415335.post-49469828632171349732010-09-25T17:06:47.105-04:002010-09-25T17:06:47.105-04:00My wife of 41 years died on the 5th of September f...My wife of 41 years died on the 5th of September from multiple complication (vulvar cancer, heart conditions, severe undiagnosed pain in lower back kidney problems). It was a short trip from first diagnosis of the cancer until she passed away (less than three months, of which during the final three weeks she was hospitalized. I didn't realize I was running on nerve for about 60 days until after the memorial services, but now I am having severe anxiety, and a severe sleep problem (Ambien works for 2 1/2 hours, Xanax about 3 1/2) not over her death, but the multiple issues involving property, money, lack of preplanning... I find I cannot cry and think it may in part be the AD my doctor put me on, but also that I'm hiding from the grief by using all the other issues for avoidance ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6215101825292415335.post-24374155780961108952010-09-20T20:34:10.149-04:002010-09-20T20:34:10.149-04:00My husband was killed in the war 5 years ago and I...My husband was killed in the war 5 years ago and I lost our two year old son due to illness 3 years ago. I'm realizing just now that "getting over it" is not something I ever need or want to do. The pressure from family and friends make me feel like I need to move on and stop grieving, but others who have lost, have taught me different. I can get angry, and display different emotions, talk about my loved ones, and still be normal and sane. I can say things like I'd rather be in Heaven with my loved ones than be here on earth, without being rediculed. Going in and out of depression is normal. Living with grief everyday is reality. You will have your ups and downs. <br />It never goes away completely, but you learn to deal with it and go on with your life the best way you know how. When family and friends say, you better talk to a therapist, most likely you don't. Instead call a friend who "gets it" and has had a similar experience. Remember you are the only one who can change your mood and life. There are others out there you will support you. In my experience, support groups are much better than talking to any therapist. The only ones who are going to be able to understand are people who have had a similar experience. That's the reality and the step towards healing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6215101825292415335.post-66016508875758584422008-09-14T16:22:00.000-04:002008-09-14T16:22:00.000-04:00My husband killed himself July 14 of this year. Y...My husband killed himself July 14 of this year. Yes, a selfish act leaving behind devastation of a wife (me) who adored him and two teenage children who worshipped him. I just want to say if your spouse is depressed or suffers pain of any kind, please get them to a therapist, psychiatrist, let it be their idea or whatever works, but do something. Be proactive. I am the devastation left behind trying to make sense of it. It will be some time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com