Natural And Normal Grief Responses

If you are reading this and your grief is relatively new, I am very sorry for your loss. I remember that for me the first few months had a very unreal quality to them, like I was disconnected from the real world somehow, and I had no idea what I was in for. I wish I had seen this list posted on WidowNet:

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This information has been provided by a hospice to help answer questions people have after losing a loved one.

THESE ARE NATURAL AND NORMAL GRIEF RESPONSES

• Feeling emotionally numb.


• Knowing that the death has occurred, but having difficulty believing that the death has really happened.


• Feeling tightness in the throat or heaviness in the chest or in the pit of the stomach.


• Having a loss of appetite or a desire to eat more than usual.


• Having a desire to smoke, drink, or use drugs (especially tranquilizers) in a greater amount than before.


• Feeling restless and looking for activity and finding it difficult to concentrate and complete tasks.


• Having difficulty sleeping, waking early, and often dreaming of your loved one.


• Being overly concerned with your health and even developing symptoms similar to those of your loved one.


• Feeling exhausted and lacking in energy.


• Feeling low at times of birthdays, holidays, and special occasions.


• Spending money on things usually not purchased.


• Feeling preoccupied with financial concerns.


• Telling and retelling things about your loved one and the experience of his or her death.


• Talking things over with the deceased person.


• Feeling mood changes over the slightest things.


• Feeling guilty for what was said or not said or for not having done enough for your loved one.


• Being angry or irritated at the wrong person or the wrong circumstance or at the world.


• Feeling intensely angry at your loved one for leaving you.


• Having difficulty making decisions on your own.


• Sensing your loved one's presence, believing you hear his/her voice or expecting him/her to come back.


• Assuming mannerisms or traits of your loved ones.


• Feeling as though life doesn't have any meaning.


• Not wanting to be with people or having difficulty initiating contact with others.


• Feeling self-pity and not feeling needed.


• Crying at unexpected times.

These are natural and normal grief responses. Crying and expressing your feelings to others can be helpful. Living through the grief experience and then adjusting to a new life take time. The length of time needed is different for every person.