Monday, February 18, 2008


The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them.
— Friedrich Nietzsche

Memories. Now that our spouse is gone, memories are all we have of them. Never again will they laugh with us, cry with us, or comfort us. No new memories will be created with them. A big part of our grief is learning just how to come to terms with this awful reality. How does one come to terms with this? "How" questions are excellent Grief Recovery Tools and will guide you where you need to go.

As I mentioned in my last post about unbelievable healing, I'm reading Joe Vitale's Zero Limits. Before I share some of the startling insights in the book, be warned that they will likely go against everything you have ever learned about life and relationships here in the West. To say they are controversial, especially in the context of grieving, is an understatement.

It is important to recognize that life in Western civilization is one of acquisition. More money, a bigger house, faster car, prettier wife, smarter kids. A deep undercurrent of grasping greed pervades the newspapers, radio, and television. Your friends and neighbors likely chat about the newest thing they have bought or acquired.

And then one day, your spouse dies. You have lost your spouse, which makes you, by definition, a loser. People don't like to be around losers. If it could happen to you, it could happen to them. And life is just about what you can get, right? He who dies with the most toys wins?

You no longer have your spouse, but you do have your memories of your past life together with him or her. And no one can take those away from you! Whole industries have sprung up to help you memorialize your departed mate. Everything from the traditional tombstone to photo memory books, memorial websites, and charitable donations in their name. You can name buildings, awards, and children after him or her. Make a shrine in your house, hang pictures of them on your walls. Listen to the music they used to listen to. Keep their clothing so you can catch a bit of their smell to trigger the memories.

And then, as the years go by, you notice the memories beginning to fade. How can this be? So much has already been stolen from you! The life you should have had, together with your loved one, snatched away. And now the precious memories are beginning to recede. Their impermanent nature can no longer be ignored. Where is the fairness in all this?

I realize this is going to be a bit too much of a stretch at this point, but try to take the perspective, just for a moment, of looking directly opposite the view that receding memories is a bad thing. Dare to accept, just for a moment, that the day could come where this might not be a bad thing. It might even be a good thing.

Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, the therapist who cured the ward of criminally insane patients in Hawaii, says that every problem in our life, every one, is because of our memories. The majority of our thoughts are tied up thinking about our memories. The solution? Let them go [pg 31]:

"When you erase something from your computer, where does it go?" he asked the room.
"To the recycle bin," someone shouted out.
"Exactly," Dr. Hew Len said. "It's still on your computer, but it's out of sight. Your memories are like that. They are still in you, just out of sight. What you want to do is erase them completely and permanently."
I found this fascinating, but I had no idea what it meant or where it was going. Why would I want memories permanently deleted?
"You have two ways to live your life," Dr. Hew Len explained. "From memory or from inspiration. Memories are old programs replaying. Inspiration is the Divine giving you a message.You want to come from inspiration. The only way to hear the Divine and receive inspiration is to clean all memories. The only thing you have to do is clean."
Dr. Hew Len spent a lot of time explaining how the Divine is our zero state — it's where we have zero limits. No memories. No identity. Nothing but the Divine.

You were warned ;-) Before I go on, let me be clear: the essence of your dead spouse has been infused into every cell in your body. They are now a part of you. I talked about this in my early post about some photos I found of Deb in my basement. If the above passage has made you angry, anxious, or afraid, realize that you have literally hundreds of thousands to millions of memories of your loved one. All those memories are recorded in your body somewhere. If you aren't interested in this kind of healing, rest assured that it will take a very long time for all those memories to fade, and there's lots you can do to hang on to those memories if you choose to do so.

If the idea of all your problems stemming from your memories has resonated with you, though, I'll close here with the simple method Dr. Hew Len uses to "clean" his memories. He simply repeats four simple phrases:

"I love you."
"I'm sorry."
"Please forgive me."
"Thank you."

As an experiment, try repeating the four phrases every time a memory of your departed loved one surfaces and causes you pain. In my next post, I'll explain how, due to my Vipassana meditation training, I could immediately see the wisdom of this point of view, and I'll go into a bit more depth as to how I spent 10 days cleaning my memories without ever being aware that I was doing so. All I know is that I am more at peace now than I have ever been in my entire life.


Anonymous said...

"who cured the ward of criminally insane patients in Hawaii..."
no he didn't.
(Retired from
Forensic Unit
Arkansas State Hospital)

Vic said...

Hello anonymous, thanks for the comment. You'll need to take it up with Joe Vitale directly -- I only quote his book. Have a great day!


Anonymous said...


I would like to tell about ho'oponopono, Dr. Hew Len and about Morrnah Simeona.

Please let me share this:

Dr Hew Len published incorrect information about ho'oponopono, and about his story about Hawaii State Hospital, about his job there and about the healings of the patients with Ho'oponopono in Hawaii State Hospital. Dr. Hew Len says in several interviews, articles, and in the book "Zero Limits" he healed his patients with a mantra (im sorry, please forgive me, i love you, thank you.). Thats incorrect, this are fake news. The whole world believes this things...

Michael Micklei knows Dr. Hew Len already at the time while Dr. Hew Len worked in the Hawaii state Hospital in the 1980s. Michael Micklei and Dr. Hew Len gave togehter Ho'oponopono seminars. In the seminars were teached only the 14-step ho'oponopono process of Morrnah Simeona. Not a Mantra.

Morrnah Simeona (1913 - 1992) was a native hawaiian kahuna. Michael Micklei accompanied Morrnah much time. He worked with Morrnah around 5 years together. Morrnah lived in Michael Mickleis and Yvettes home in Germany until she passed away in 1992. Michael Micklei translated Morrnah's 14-step ho'oponopono to german. He has been authorized to do so by Morrnah Simeona.

Michael Micklei from Pacifica Seminars says, that Dr. Hew Len have in the Hawaii State Hospital his patients healed with Morrnah's 14-step Ho'oponopono-Process. Never with a mantra.
Morrnah Simeona adapted the traditional Ho'oponopono to today's times and realities. She has developed a 14-step process. Everyone can learn and use it. This is a modern version of the traditional Ho'oponopono process. Morrnah has founded the “Pacifica Seminars” in the 1970s and then the “Foundation of I” to spread her 14-step ho'oponopono around the world. She made it possible for all people to solve their problems with her 14-Step Ho’oponopono.
In September 1990, Morrnah and Yvette Mauri founded “Pacifica Seminars” in Germany (see Pacifica Seminars Europe is the only organization in Europe, where you can learn Morrnah's original Ho'oponopono-process today, that was developed by Morrnah. Ramsay Taum teach the Ho'oponopono-process of Morrnah too in Hawaii.

Please let me share a comment of Michael Micklei. He says in a comment to an another person:

(See in Comment Part 2)

link to the comment:

Dr. Hew Len never healed with a mantra "i love you, please forgive you, im sorry, thank you." in Hawaii State Hospital. This mantra is not ho'oponopono, and it is not hawaiian.

Nobody talks about Morrnah's 14-step Ho'oponopono today. Morrnah's Ho'oponopono is no longer known to anyone today. Many people were misinformed by Dr. Hew Len and by the Book “Zero Limits” and by another books and organisations. Dr. Hew Len does not speak about Morrnahs 14-step ho'oponopono-process anymore and he doesen't speak about he healed his patients with Morrnah's 14-step ho'oponopono-process in Hawaii State Hospital. The people are misinformed. What reason have Dr. Hew Len to tell this lie? I don't understand it...

Michael Micklei has written a report about Dr. Hew Len and the healings in Hawaii State Hospital that happend with Morrnah's 14-step Ho'oponopono. Please let me share this link (is only in german language, please use Google tanslator to translate it):

Please share it and spread this information to another people :-) It is in the interests of all people.

Aloha and cheers

Patrice C.

Anonymous said...

Part 2:

Please let me share a comment of Michael Micklei. He says in a comment to an another person:

“Aloha xxx,
one can clearly see that you love ho'oponopono. My wife and me and many people in Germany do it also. But let me share some knowledge I am aware about Dr. Len. I was working around 5 years with Morrnah, the last year she lived in our home in Kirchheim nearby Munich, she passed away nearly in my arms. So pls let me share this:

SITH is not a registered TM by Dr. Len or "The Foundation of I". It is registered in the USA by the Lucas Film several times for the "Lords of SITH", which are the Lords of Darkness.

Dr. Len never healed in the mentioned hospital by only saying over and over "I love you" and "Thank you" to the "I", Morrnahs word for the Source, for Divinity. Instead he used Morrnahs 12 (or 14) step process only, twice or three times a day. Every day he walked through the hospital he looked carefully to the patients, the doctors, his feelings. He taped this. And asked Divinity to heal his karmic bondages with these persons and matters. A hard job for three years. Divinity accepted the plea and healed. 2 persons were not healed, as there were no karmic bondages with Dr. Len.

Morrnah gave him this kind of order to do so (and at that time he worked really for the good to help Morrnah for her special spiritual job) and in classes, we both attended between Nov. 86 and later, Dr. Len was always telling in detail at the beginning that he was doing exactly this, nothing else. NO mantra was mentioned, never. At that time, Dr. Len was a student of Morrnah like me, so why and how could he use a quite different way in the hospital - and at the weekend in classes he said the opposite? Morrnah was also complex clairvoyant, she could see and hear everything.

All so called tools of Dr. Len (except 2 or 3) were developped by Dr. Len after 1992, which are only temporarily harmonizing or calming down - NOT cleansing, NOT being any ho'oponopono, as they are not mutual. They are (powerful) magic tools. They are not bad in itsself, but they block people to learn authentic ho'oponoponos - traditional ones or the one of Morrnah. People like those easy magic ways, they really think to heal karmic stuff of hundreds and more reincarnations by 11 words.

It is clearly the good part of Joe Vitale's job to spread the name of ho'oponopono from the time of "Zero limits" across the world - but the illusion is inclusive: people know the name, but did not hear about the real content of ho'oponopono or even forget it. Pls keep in mind Dr. Len's words (received by his divinity) in Zero Limits: "I've been told to kill the Divine to be home." To kill the Divine? Well, starting to take him out from the cleansing. This does not seem a path up to the mountain.
mahalo for sharing.”

End of Quote

link to the comment:

Patrice C